The Financial Play
Written by Dan
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
Setting: SFDC office
Character: Ann - the underwriter for the SFDC
Dan & Nicole - (hands over business plan) Here you go.
Ann - Thanks! I'll be in touch with you next week.
Dan & Nicole - Wee!
Monday, October 18, 2004
Setting: Dan's e-mail
From: Ann
To: Dan
Dan,
Unfortunately we can't give you a loan for 100% of your required start-up need. We act more as a secondary source for financing. You'll need to contact a conventional financial institution to secure your primary financing.
Sincerely,
Ann
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
Setting: Dan's phone
Character: Brian - President of the SFDC board AND SBA loan officer for a regional financial institution
Dan - We need money... something fierce.
Brian - I can help.
Dan - Do we need to fill out papers?
Brian - No, the forms you filled out for Ann should be enough for us to base our decision on. If we approve the project, then you'll have to fill out some standard SBA documents.
Dan - Great!
Brian - We can split your loan $40,000 SBA / $35,000 SFDC, but you'll need to come up with $10,000 in injected capital. Is that doable?
Dan - No problem.
Brian - Great. I'll talk to you again later this week.
*click*
Dan - (to Nicole) We need 10,000 dollars by the end of this week.
Nicole - *gulp*
[ cut to: Nicole on street corner ]
Nicole - (bends over and leans into the car window) Hey baby, you looking for a good time?
Dan - Yes! Now get in the car before the skating rink closes!
Nicole - Woot woot! (hops in)
*zoom*
[ Inside Ricky's Roller Rink ]
Dan & Nicole - (stomp their roller skates and clap in unison) *clap* *clap* *clap* XANADU! *stomp* *stomp* *stomp* XANADU!
Announcer - And the winner of our $10,000 Xanadu Look Alike Prize is... Dan and Nicole!
Dan & Nicole - *clap* *clap* *clap* XANADU!
Everyone else - Yay!
Friday, October 22, 2004
Setting: Dan's phone
Brian - You got the cash?
Dan - I got the cash. You got the cash?
Brian - Oh yeah, we got plenty of cash.
Dan - I'll give you my cash and then you give me your cash. Deal?
Brian - Hold up, now... I still have to look over your stuff with my main man, Kent. Then we'll decide if you're ready for the money.
Dan - Show me the money.
Brian - You'll hear from me next week. If the Cardinals win, the money's yours, but if the Cardinals lose...
Dan - Yes?
Brian - We'll just have to wait until we see your business plan.
Dan - Oh, you'll see my business plan, alright.
Brian - Good. I'm planning on it.
Dan - Good!
Brian - Good!
Dan - I'll expect your call sometime next week.
Brian - Go CARDS!!
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
Setting: The bathroom
Dan - (vomits into toliet) BLucK bLUCk GloOSE!
Nicole - It'll be okay sweetie. I'm sure the Cards will rally!
Dan - When will Brian call? The suspense is killing me!
Nicole - I'm not sure, but maybe this will cheer you up... BENZO!
Dan - Oh no, not Benzo.
[ Benzo enters and proceeds to bust a move ]
Nicole - Yay!
Dan - Thanks. Thank you, Benzo. THANK YOU! You can leave now.
Benzo - Shit, this party's dead anyway.
Nicole - Swingers! That quote was from Swingers.
Benzo - You are correct.
Nicole - I love you, Benzo!
Dan - Ok, ok, ok. I've had enough of this! Benzo leave us alone.
Benzo - Goodbye.
[ Benzo busts a move and exits ]
Dan - so much depends
upon
a phone call,
ni
cole
glazed with loan
approval
beside the white
chickens.
Nicole - (shooes chickens away) SHOO SHOO! Get away.
Dan - Thanks.
THE END
