Credit cards and hard work
Written by Dan
Today marks our first Moxie business day in Springfield. To mark the occasion, Nicole and I are busying ourselves with meetings, errands, and lots and lots of phone calls. I have a mobile command center set up on the floor of my dad's computer room so I can have easier access to all of my business information / contacts, but mostly so I can surf porn sites a bit more inconspicuously.
I'd like to give a big thanks to everyone who left their two cents about whether we should accept plastic or not. I saw a lot of people who hadn't commented before, which makes me think I should threaten damnation to Rolla more often. NOTE: If you're reading this and you're from Rolla... I'm so sorry.
So, after much consideration, I think we've decided to accept credit cards. Here's why:
1. Convenience - Duh. The more forms of currency we accept, the more likely our customers are to spend their hard-earned moohlah.
2. Spendability - I know that's not a word, but bear with me. If we only accept cash, customers will come to the Moxie with a set amount of money they can spend, but if we accept plastic, their credit line's the limit! I don't want to sound greedy, but allowing people to spend as much money as possible can't be a bad thing.
3. Internet ticketing - We're going to sell tickets online (with an additional $0.50 service charge), so we'll definitely need to be able to accept credit cards. We might as well get one merchant account and use it for both store fronts (online and brick-n-mortar).
4. Super cool member cards and gift certificates - If we have credit card readers (magnetic strip), our software suite will allow us to make and use super cool membership cards and gift certificates for the Moxie! No matter how you slice it, that's just plain awesome.
5. College students - We'd be foolish not to consider the spending habits of one of our largest marketing segments, college students. If my stats are still up-to-date, then modern college students only love the following seven things: using credit cards, buying things online, drinking beer, wearing flip-flops, posters of John Belushi and/or Che Guevara, sleeping in, and carrots. Who am I to deny them these simple pleasures?
6. Pity signage - Along with our credit card acceptance, we're still going to hang a few signs that let people know our TRUE feelings. For instance, "The Moxie would appreciate it if you'd use cash for purchases under $10.00. You see, our credit and debit processing center employs hundreds of thousands of tiny puppies with big wet eyes and floppy ears to process your transaction. That high pitched scratchy noise you hear every time we swipe your card isn't the modem. It's the death cries of at least 8 to 12 helpless little pups."
7. I don't cotton to ATM's - The closest ATM to downtown Springfield is somewhere in Chicago and having one installed is expensive and, in most respects, a tad bit tacky. I don't know about you, but I'd much rather incur the processing fee than be chased around the lobby by an ATM that looks like R2-D2 and has lasers and scalpels coming out of it.
I think there were more reasons, but time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin' into the future and Nicole and I have a million errands to complete. Thanks again for all the constructive comments, kind readers. As you can see from my list of reasons, we took each and every one of them to heart. My heart is heavy with your caring comments. SO heavy. I'll have more polarizing questions to bounce off of you in the near future, but until then... be safe, and if you can't be safe, be careful, and if you can't be careful, eat carrots.