The COMING SOON sign
Written by Dan + Taken by Nicole
The story begins at 4:00 PM on a sunny Thursday afternoon. Don't let the sun fool you - it was freezing outside!
Here's the happy papa holding up our brand new vinyl sign. Isn't it adorable?!!
The first step was to lay the sign out and admire it from above.
They will see us waving from such great heights
Come down now, they'll say
But everything looks perfect from far away
Come down now, but we'll stay
Those lyrics have nothing to do with this shot, but I kinda look constipated when I think, don't I? Actually, this photo was snapped at the exact moment that I realized our sign was too big to hang on the pre-drilled hooks.
This is the sign hanging from its ill-fated position. I was so mad when I found out that it wouldn't fit... I don't even want to talk about it.
LOOK OUT! Here comes mad Dan storming through the door!!! A little skater punk walked by and flipped me off right after this picture was taken. I shit you not. If I ever see him again, I'm going to break his 7 year-old-body over my knee.
After an hour worth of cussing and crying, we made a quick trip to Lowe's so I could buy supplies to build a frame for the sign. I bought:
• Two 2x2x8 pieces of treated lumber - $1.59 each
• Eight 3" eye bolts - $0.52 each
• Parachute rope from the Army Surplus store - $7.99
This is a picture of me lining up the boards before I drill them.
This is me drilling the 2x2's. No matter how hard I drilled them, they still couldn't tell me the capital of Idaho.
After the holes were drilled, it was time to insert the eye bolts and tighten them with the world's greatest tool... the VICE GRIP!
This looks like the beginning of an American Funniest Home Video clip. BONK!
Here's the 2x2's with the eye bolts. Damn, they're hot!
I then used the parachute rope to attach the boards to the top and bottom of the sign.
Here's the finished product. The bottom 2x2 acts as a weight to pull the sign taut. Who's the bad ass NOW, Ty Pennington? Let me tell you who... ME!
Here's a nice shot of my butt while I tie the sign to the building.
And there it is. Isn't it great? I used foam weather stripping on the back of the bottom board to reduce the effect of it bouncing off the nice green marble and/or the aluminum door frame. The bottom board only hangs about 9 feet off the ground, so I won't be surprised if the punk kid who flipped me off comes back and tears it down.
I know what you look like, kiddo, and if I ever get my hands on you... I'll call your mother and break your precious skateboard over my knee!
