EXCERPT: It's not much of a secret by now, but if you don't know what we're showing in December try here, here (scroll down), or here! The paper calendars should hopefully be ready by tomorrow. Thanks for your patience. Oh, and if you're wondering when I'm ever going to get around to fixing all the broken links on this site... keep wondering. Truth is, I'm redesigning the entire thing. Stick with me though, folks... it'll be worth the wait. ...
EXCERPT: If you received an e-mail from Info AT Moxie Cinema DOT com regarding nude pictures of Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, a change of address, or registration confirmation, I hate to tell you, but it's not real. Here's what happened: John or Jonna Doe have a computer virus. They also have the most recent Moxie newsletter sitting innocently in their e-mail client's inbox. The virus spots the innocent newsletter and decides to use it's name to send thousands of spam e-mails via John/na's computer. Some of the e-mails end up being undeliverable so are automatically redirected to the ...
EXCERPT: Recent events have led us to believe that The Moxie is haunted... by a phantom smell. In the back of the building, near what used to be the men's restroom, there is an unusual scent that keeps moving around. At first we thought it was natural gas (from my friend's butt), then we thought it was the other kind of natural gas, then we thought it was a leaky pipe, then we thought it was the water cooler, then the fire extinguisher, then the curtains above the restroom, then the ventilation system. Every suggestion led to a dead-end. No one ...
EXCERPT: Two stories are coming out about this blog - one in GO! Magazine and one in 417 Magazine - so I thought it was time to make a new post. I wouldn't want a casual observer to think ALL of my posts were about girls flashing me... although it does happen... a lot. Seriously. So anyways, GO! Magazine just wrote a stellar article on how this is probably the coolest blog on the face of the entire planet. However, I warned them that they shouldn't make such grandiose assumptions. "While it may be true that my blog is the ...
EXCERPT: I was just outside changing the showtimes for tomorrow's movie on our marquee, right. As per usual, I was engrossed in the act of carefully suctioning each number with my enormous 18 foot suction cup pole when I heard the unmistakable mummerings of a group of drunken girls. "Hey dude!" I turned to see who was yelling at me, and there, only 5 feet away from me, was a drunk girl flashing her boobs at me. I tried to say something, but, like most guys, I just stood there, pole in hand, and stared at the girl's tatas. ...
EXCERPT: Uh oh. It's a multi-topic post! Buckle in! Imitation is the sincerest form of unoriginal corporate chicanery We just found out last night that Campbell 16 (the largest multiplex in Springfield) suddenly started carrying specialty popcorn seasoning last week. What poseurs! Someone needs to put a few well-placed Moxie stickers over their specialty seasoning shakers. If you decide to spend your multiplex money at Cambpell 16, make it a point to announce loudly: "Hey! They have specialty popcorn seasoning just like The Moxie! How original!" Then when you come to see a good movie at The Moxie, make ...
EXCERPT: Over the last two months of operation, we've seen a lot of repeat customers. Whether they stop in a couple times per month or several times per week, it's high time we start rewarding their loyalty with a frequent movie-goer program of some sort. We brainstormed several ideas last night, but couldn't come up with a conclusive program. The premise is simple - nothing out of the norm: if you see nine movies, your tenth one's free... and on the way up the ladder you get a free popcorn after the fourth movie and a free drink after your ...
EXCERPT: A seasonal cold is trying to ravish my impenetrable immune system. I will win. I have to win. I don't have any sick time. Damn you, Alan Alda. Damn you to hell! ...
EXCERPT: It's a shame when good movies are plagued with mediocre reviews. Case in point: PROOF - the movie we just opened. You have a big name director (John Madden), big name actors (Anthony Hopkins, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Jake Gyllenhaal), and a good screen adaption of a prize-winning play. So what's not to like? Personally, I don't know. Nicole and I watched the film today and I enjoyed the hell out of it! I thought the acting was good, the story believable, and the plot twists kept me engaged and guessing to the very end. Honestly, I can't believe that we're ...
EXCERPT: Two words: MATINEE MONDAY! Amazing. Before tonight, our biggest Monday was last week with 50 people... total. We more than doubled that tonight. Was it just because of MATINEE MONDAY? I doubt it, but I bet that was a big part of it. Most people were just here to catch LADIES IN LAVENDER or THE ARISTOCRATS before they left town. I bet we almost sell out THE ARISTOCRATS tomorrow night. It's going to be crazy. On that note, if you want to buy your tickets up to a week in advance, give this a shot: http://tickets.moxiecinema.com. Here's how it ...
EXCERPT: That's what they should've called LADIES IN LAVENDER. Maybe with a title like that we'd be able to get more than FIVE PEOPLE PER SHOW! Come on Springfield and surrounding areas, do you NOT want to see Maggie Smith and Judi Dench pull each others clothes off with their false teeth? Of course you don't! And let me tell you, this movie won't disappoint [*pause*] in NOT showing them naked. If you want to see some gratuitous nudity, give me a 20 dollar bill or offer Nicole anything made with chocolate. If it weren't for THE ARISTOCRATS, we'd be ...
EXCERPT: What's that over on the right? Is that... no, it couldn't be! Is that a new phlog! Good gravy, it is! And on a side note, if you're looking for a good date movie... look no further than LADIES IN LAVENDER. Seriously, if any movie will immediately put your lady in the mood, it's this one. Judy Dench... MEOW... Maggie Smith... HOTTTTT! Seriously though, this film is better than Spanish Fly. I get chills from just touching the film. If you want a nice night out, come see LADIES IN LAVENDER. If you want to cap off your ...